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READER COMMENTS
"Barbara Lawrence's "Bitter Ice" was a stunning read for me on several levels. First there is the story. Barbara begins describing herself as a very bright (but perhaps a bit neglected) socially well counneced young woman and tells of her journey though college and into what appeared to be a satisfying and appropriate marriage. She continues her tale describing life as partner to an increasingly ill man and her private process of recognizing and finding a response to her horrible circumstances. Second, within this very personal story I found exraordinary information. There is rich descrption of anorexia in adult men and the diffculties identifying it; there is Barbara's description of what she had to tackle in order to understand what was happening to her husband; there is eqully rich description of the impact of anorexia on immediate family and those further removed. Finally, readers should know that this is a very beautifully crafted book. The story is carefully told, the writing is clear. Barbara enables the reader to go right to the heart of her deeply moving and important book. I highly recommend it. "
ABIGAIL MELLEN, New York, USABarbara Lawrence builds a poignant life-size portrait of breaking through set expectations of family and culture. She crafts a riveting story out of her life, juxtaposing the life of plenty against emotional starvation. Her pain of displacement within her step-family, abandonment by her father, and subsequent marriage to an anorexic is never self-pitying. Her flaw is one of ignorance and she learns, painfully, what it takes to find independence and self-worth. Her compassion and indomitable spirit expose the ravages of anorexia. Her use of metaphor and style are honed to a fine point with the details of everyday life. I look forward to more from this author. She is a consumate writer as well as story-teller. This is a must read."
K.L Hathaway, Maine"Many parts of Bitter Ice were difficult for me to read. This was the first book, of the many that I have read on eating disorders, that made me realize what damage this obsessive behavior does to the family members of the sufferer. I battled anorexia for most of high school and college. While basically "cured," the intense selfishness of my disorder never allowed me to see what pain I brought to my family and friends. Only in reading Barbara Kent Lawrence's honest account do I now understand what my own family was facing. This book has brought me a few steps closer to my own recovery. "
Clara A Zurn, Washington, D.C."This book is an extraordinary text about a woman who possesses great strength. Through the evolution of her marriage, Barbara takes us through the journey of her thinking process as she struggles to deal with the psychological damage that her husband's illness forces on all who knew him. I couldn't put it down! "
Patricia A. Smith, Boston, Massachusetts" Bitter Ice is compelling for those of us who have wondered to the point of agonizing about why smart and successful women stay in relationships destructive to themselves and their children. Barbara Lawrence details the evolution of the individuals in this particular relationship and the dynamics of the relationship itself. Her chronicle reminds me of a Stephen King horror story where pretty normal people and situations begin, almost imperceptively, to go awry. By the time things have become completely warped and unacceptable to the observer, the participants themselves have bought into their lives through a combination of denial, rationalization and self doubt and are living in a way they think of as "normal". Coming from a family with an alcoholic parent, I think it is courageous and important that the author shed light for all of us by sharing very personal information. All of us in situations similar to hers learn first and foremost to keep secrets. And keeping those secrets ultimately leads to our own emotional destruction. This story is sad and tragic for the author's whole family including the father. To me, the saddest part was when the author looked at photographs of her absent children and asked herself why she has photographs of those she loves instead of having them. As children, our inclination is to blame our parents for what is wrong in our lives. This book has helped me to better understand them, and in the case of the living, have hope for them. And ultimately, to forgive them. Only then can we begin to build healthy and happy lives for ourselves instead of becoming casualties of our upbringing. For this family, I hope that through telling the secrets and all that implies, they can each finally find personal happiness and a better life. "
Janet Aubry, Bradenton, Florida
Email: barbaralawrence@attbi.com